Let me introduce you, this first picture was taken in 1972, I know this because Eric was just a baby. My brother, Mark, is sitting on Dad's knee, there's my Dad, Charles, there's me and no those aren't red boots, they are red socks with my black Mary Janes, then Mom, Sharon, and Eric. Too bad you can't see Eric's hair really well, it was bright carrot red/orange! He was my baby, mine! I would put him in my doll buggy, a green plastic bottom with an orange and white patterned top that folded up, just like a real buggy. The problem was Eric was so chubby he got stuck! Dad had to have Mom put her arms across the tub part and he had to flip it over to get Eric out. Oh memories....
This next picture is of my family Christmas 2012. We lost Dad in 2007, complications from lung cancer. Seated is Mom, of course, and then it's my "little baby brother" Eric, Mark
and me. Both boys are 6'5" but believe me, I still boss them, when I can, I just have to look up.
It's no secret that Mom and I have a strained relationship at times. I get upset over something she says or does and then I go silent, sometimes for long periods of time. God has really been working on me about this, through Ted actually. Ted never judges me when Mom and I have our "outs". He lets me go for a little while then will ask, "Have you talked to your mom lately?" I'll say, no, no I haven't. Then he'll patiently say, "I know you both are stubborn but one of you has to give, and you know it will be you so why don't you just get it over with and call her." Smarty pants! But the funny thing about that is a few days before he asks me about this I'll start having dreams, dreams about Mom, random things from our past, when I was a girl, sometimes things that seem to be from the future. I know it's the Holy Spirit gently nudging me, then He gets Ted in on the nudging.
I do love my mother. We are alike, yet we are different. She grew up in another era, another age, she doesn't completely agree with my decisions or parenting style. Now that I'm older I can see where I should have listened, paid attention and applied a lot of what she chided me to do. The Bible is very clear on respecting your parents. As a God Girl, I have failed in that in the past, even after I gave my life back to God, re-dedicated my life to Him. I, of course, have sound reasoning (in my mind it's sound). But in the end I am wrong.
Children and Parents
Ephesians 6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
I have begged God's forgiveness for my anger and silence towards my Mom, and have asked her forgiveness as well. Mom always does give me that forgiveness and actually has not gone back and reminded me of my stubbornness. She did say to me "You are so much like your father with your temper and silence." Yes, I guess I am. Mom and I are doing wonderfully. When she starts to drive me crazy I just pray and remember that my time with her on earth can be cut short at any time. She's proven so much stronger than we ever gave her credit, especially have Dad passed.
This family thing has been on my mind because I'm going through something similar with my 17 year old daughter. I love this child so much, I don't now if she realizes just how much. In the past year, actually the past six months a distance has come between us. She shares nothing of her life with me, well, just very brief pieces. I am sure it has a lot to do with the fact she is in her last year of high school and she has some very real decisions to make regarding her becoming an adult. She wants to move out as soon as she turns 18. I cannot stop her. I pray for her to have clarity of mind, discernment. She is extremely intelligent, not being partial but she truly is. But it's breaking my heart that she won't share any of her fears, excitement, questions, anything at all. I had hoped she would maybe turn to her older sister for advice, or just to talk but at this point she has not. Maybe she will, or maybe she'll just have to be the little bird that leaves the nest and struggles to fly but determination will fuel her, give her that strength.
I see now how my own Mom has felt when I shut her out. This makes me hurt, not just for me but for her as well. I will not do that to my own mother again. God has His way of getting His point across. I have faith and believe that Meg will one day realize I will always be here, always care, always love her.
My friends, if you have a relationship with a parent, or a child, or a sibling that is in need of some TLC, I urge you to mend that relationship. I promise you, it will not kill you to say I'm sorry, any tears that are shed, they will be cleansing tears.
Lord God I thank you for the chance I had to make things right with my Mother, and I thank you for giving her that grace to forgive my childish behavior and to still love me, unconditionally. I pray that I continue to seek You when things may get troublesome and that I remember Your commandment to love and honor Mom. I also pray your protection over my Megan, well our Megan as she was yours before she was mine. I pray wisdom and gentleness with her as she goes through these growing pains as she leaves childhood and begins her life as an adult. She did ask you into her heart and I know in this age of awareness she has questions and doubts. Please continue to speak to her heart so that she knows all she has to do is call on You and You will be there, that you are never far away. In Jesus name, Amen.
2 Corinthians 12:9
English Standard Version (ESV)
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Lisa
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