Tuesday, April 15, 2014

This, That and The Other...

Hello my friends, again, it's been a few weeks since I checked in with you but I've been pretty busy.  The girls and I had a household to pack...I'm sorry, let me amend that...I had a household to pack, they had their rooms to pack.  Funny how I was finished packing the rest of the house, basement included, before they were done packing each of their rooms!  We've been through this before but this move I didn't have a fit and get mad and yell, I just told them, what doesn't get packed stays here so if you want it, you better get moving because come the 28th, we're moving.  But I did get sidetracked along the way.  You see, I had a small stroke, a TIA on March 24th....

Yes, you read that right.  As it was happening all I could think was I'm too young, I'm only 48, how can this be happening?  I was at work and it was 3 pm in the afternoon. I was standing up near the fax machine when my whole right side went numb and tingly.  I had to use my left hand to pick up my right arm and put it on the shelving unit.  The whole event lasted almost 5 minutes.  My poor coworker didn't know what to do, and it was just her and I in the office.  I should have had her call an ambulance, but I didn't.  After I could move I sat down for about 10 minutes but I text my oldest daughter living at home and told her to not take a nap, she was going to have to take me to the hospital.   That ER trip turned into 2-1/2 days in the hospital.  You see they've found thru the CT scan and subsequent MRI's that I have a small tumor in my head, according to the contrast MRI it is benign but I've got to monitor it now.

I asked the doctor what would have brought on the TIA, was it the tumor?  He said no, stress and blood pressure.  My doctor just put me on BP meds, well now I'm on those, low dose aspirin and a cholesterol medication.  My triglycerides were high, the rest of the numbers were great but it was enough to cause me to be on a nightly medication.  This episode has put a lot of things in perspective for me.  I got out of the hospital and 3 days later moved.  I had help moving and they got onto me if I picked up anything too heavy.  Took 2 full days to get all here that needed to be here, but it's done.

The pictures at the top are of my living room.  Can you see why I fell in love with this house?  It's older, but it has character and charm.  Even the girls are very happy with it, and that is fantastic.

I go again to the things being put into perspective.  I've had to will myself to let go of some things, some stress in my life.  Megan called me from Chicago where she spent her spring break with her best friend.  Her best friend was going to go to prom with her, but, well, she's enlisted in the Army and will leave 3 days after prom, down here in So. IL.  Megan called to ask me if I'd be upset if she didn't go.  I almost had a fit, I mean afterall, we spent a small fortune on this dress for her.  But, after I took a deep breath I told her, no, I understand she wants to be there for her best friend the weekend before she leaves.  I could have insisted she go, but why?  She would have been miserable.  I'll post her dress on eBay or a Facebook site and see if I can at  least get half of the cost of an unworn dress back.

I have other stresses that I'm in the process of dealing with, confronting.  I will share as I go through them but I've had a big reality check.  I may have to have surgery if the tumor grows.  I have to really start taking care of me, and not worrying about other things that I can't control anyway.  The Bible continually says do not worry, why do we?  Human nature I suppose.  This is one of my favorite verses to turn to...

Matthew 6:34  Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

My appointment for the  neurosurgeon is tomorrow.  I will not worry, I will not fret, I will not think the worst can happen.  I believe in my heart I will be alright, I believe that I will be healed either Divinely or through God's knowledge in a physician/surgeon.  But I will ask for your prayers through this time.  There may be other changes in my life, but I will share what I can, when I can.  

Until then, I pray for my friends, my family.